Am I the only one?

Am I the only one?  Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Each morning I rush to my computer to check on my favorite blogs.  I love getting those notices that one of my favs has written a new entry.  I eagerly click and wait for it to pop up.  I know some will be full of wit or wisdom.  I know others will come with amazing pictures.  Some tell me of experiences in far off lands.  Sometimes I get to experience the birth of a new family ...

... all while wearing my pj's from the comfort of my home while sipping hot tea.

Ahhh ... my morning somehow feels complete.  I feel whole.  I feel connected to an outside world.

This morning ... it hit me like a ton of bricks:  God has His daily blog entry He would like me to read. 

(oh)

Sure I pull out the scriptures and I pray.  And there are days where I feel I've found the best nugget in the world.  Sometimes I hear from God.  Sometimes I have the best time and feel connected, feel whole, feel complete.  Sometimes I find wit and wisdom.  Sometimes I get a great picture.

But let's go there ... sometimes I do not.  Sometimes it seems more like a chore, an obligation, a duty to check off my ever growing list.

I've begun to wonder this morning:  Maybe I don't always "hear" what He has to say because I sometimes I don't like what He has to say.  Or maybe it's back to that entry I wrote on being a spoiled brat.  (How I like only the extremes, not the daily grind.)  Or maybe I just fill my head with all these other distractions of life so I DON'T hear what He has to say.

I'm assuming I'm not the only one here.    

So this morning, (I know this stuff, but ...) I'm reminded to rush to HIS blog entries first.  To find comfort in HIM first, to feel connected to HIM first.

Go be shocked at what God has in store for YOU today!  It's a really great blog entry ... you'll be glad you read it!  Below is something God shared with me.  Maybe it's for you too.

I'd love to hear what God is saying to YOU lately!

Psalm 121                                                                I lift up my eyes to the hills—  where does my help come from?  My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip  he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel  will neither slumber nor sleep.  The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

push or hold, what to do "until"

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what we do "until".

1) You know how you are expecting to do something exciting in just a little while ... what do you do "until" it's time to go?

2) Or you have a problem and you haven't figured out the solution yet ... what do you do "until" you decide?

3) Or what about how you've asked God to do something for you and you even know He will ... but what do you do "until" it arrives?

I personally think it is THOSE moments where I can get myself into the most trouble.

For example one, while I'm waiting for something to happen, I can get distracted, get off course, waste time. It's hard to use that time productively.

For example two, I can find all sorts of trouble to get into. From the time I discover the problem until I act on the best solution ... my mind can come up with lots of crazy ideas.

Like Jacob is having some trouble at school - but only with one teacher. All the others think he is a great, loving, well-behaved kid who loves to learn, gets along with others well, is getting good grades, etc. But this one is saying he is a behavior problem, is not there to learn and is failing. (In a subject he LOVES by the way). So my head gets around the problem and I come up with all sorts of CRAZY things to do. If I went with my heart, I would have already been to school to deck her for making my son cry. If I went with my cunning side, I would have already been to the school to talk to the principal (she has become a good friend and a great advocate). If I went with my mommy heart, I'd have pulled him from school and been back to homeschooling to protect his heart. etc etc.

But none of these are really the best answers. I know I will let my calmer head prevail and come up with a solution that works for all. But in the MEANTIME or "until" I do, sometimes I'm full of swirling thoughts, negative emotional churning. And if I let that get the best of me, that's not OK.

For example 3, I know that I do the same thing (like with Jacob) when it comes to God. I know that He has promised X but "until" it arrives ... I'm not exactly sure what to do. And with the Jacob story, the answers seem pretty clear cut of which is right, which is wrong, which is doable/not. But there seems to be a lot more "gray" areas when it comes to waiting on God.

I find scriptures that back up 2 completely opposite points of view.

One says to wait and look and hope. Be paitent and rest in Him. Stand still and see the deliverance.

But there are just as may scriptures that show we have not because we ask not. Or we weren't like the widow who kept going to the judge. Or the person whose friends lowered him through the rooftop so he could be healed. These examples show going above and beyond, of PUSHING and not holding still.

I find myself completely caught in the middle of this argument many times. I KNOW that God will ultimately do. I KNOW that it will be perfect timing.

But the question is ... push or hold?

What to do "UNTIL"?