Sickos

Not sure when it happens.  But it happens.  Every time.  

Maybe it's after the mountain of snotty tissues but before the knee deep in throw up.
Or maybe it's between the bottles of used tylenol.
Perhaps it's the smell of Vick's Vapors wafting in the air.

But when people are sick in my house, time stands still and nothing else seems to matter.

Kaley sounds like she is swimming. Her head and chest are so full of fluid.  And even the tiniest cough hurts her stomach because she's coughed so much.  So she's trying to do these baby coughs not to rattle her horrible headache.

Luke, meanwhile, has a VERY high fever and is throwing up.

And somewhere in the midst of it all ... I think of Jesus Christ.

He died a sinless, perfect life in exchange for us.  He paid the penalty of death so we could all live.  But that death could have come in any number of ways.  As long as He died, it would have served the purpose.

He went "above and beyond" and was tortured, willingly taking stripes on His body.  It tells us in Isaiah 53:5 that "with His stripes we are healed."  He purposely, willingly took on the beating of His physical body so we could have our physical bodies healed as well.

I know a lot of Christians 'know' this.  But when we're wading through snot and changing out bedpans and doing the piles of laundry, do we really consider this?  I mean, REALLY consider it?

I know that physical illness affects all of us from time to time.  And most times it's a temporary condition (like a cold or the flu).  And simply the passing of time will "cure" it.  But there are other times when it's more complex like cancer.  There are times when we know this will just "go away" and other times, we wonder how long we will live.

So it's at times like this that I wonder why sometimes we get an immediate physical healing and other times we don't.  I know many people speculate on it.  But the truth is, we don't know.  I don't think there's a formula with God for this.

I know some of you know that a few months ago I was going through all sorts of testing for lumps in my axilla.  Fast forward - one doctor thinks it is not a big problem and I should just get re-evaluated after 3 months.  Another doctor feels it's a big deal and wants the whole thing gone immediately (every lymph node on that side).  I'm awaiting a 3rd opinion to break the tie.

I have to consider that just one short year ago, my Dad was fighting for his life and had basically 0% survival rate.  They didn't feel he would make it off the operating table.  I knew that his life was completely in the hands of God.  If he was supposed to stay, he would live.  If God was ready to take him, he would die.  Plain and simple as that.

I could go down each and every one of my kid's and the miracles God has performed in their lives.  One by one.  It would take us weeks just to discuss them all.

God has touched my life with so many miracles - big and small.  I'm aware of quite a few.  Sometimes I ponder all the ones He did that I missed.

So my point?  If you're sick or you know of someone who is sick and needs healing ... ASK.  God has made provision for YOUR healing too.  And when He heals you, make sure to let me know... I LOVE hearing about the miracles of God!

Where she needs to be

Is it sitting in those little chairs?  The smell of the chalk in the air?  The dingy florescent bulbs flickering on and off?

What EXACTLY is it that makes me absolutely cringe to be back in a school room???

I know, maybe it's the fact that I spent 12 years in school and another 7 years in college classes (2 bachelor's degrees, MA, PhD).  That's not to count the years I taught in school or in the university.

My poor deluded 1st grader (Luke) went off to class the first day and I thought ... "You have NO clue what you have just signed up for, the YEARS ahead of you."

But I digress.

This morning, I had a parent teacher conference with Mrs. Ryan.  She's Kaley's 4th grade teacher.  She is WONDERFULLY amazing.  Love her.  She is kind and respectful and most of all, she likes my kid.  She was telling me all the lovely things Kaley is.

Kaley is so tiny that her classmates all want to take care of her, help her out.  And truthfully, she can use all the help she can get.   Mrs. Ryan is an experienced enough teacher to know that it's OK for a fellow student to help out.  She said Kaley and Lydia (the next seat over) are always talking, but it's always on point, never about the latest movie or whatever.

Kaley IS having a bit of struggle with some of her reading/writing assessments ... but we knew that going in.  She learns just a bit slower in this area and I'm so thrilled that she has Mrs. Ryan, someone who "gets" it.

So I left this teacher conference with all the confidence in the world that Kaley is right where she needs to be.  That is HUGE news.  Before sending the kids to public school, SHE was one of my main concerns.   But seems that God has put her right where she needs to be.

How often can we say that in life:  We made the right choice!  So I'm going to enjoy my cup of hot tea and this feeling of doing *something* right.  But I'd better drink fast ... I know these feelings are fleeting. ;)

Who knew!?!

Tough economic times.  Check.
Already contributing somewhere else.  Check.
We're financially strapped right now.  Check.
We're in the middle of an adoption.  Check
Where you going to get the money from?  Check.
Why you?  Check.
Why China?  Check.
Why not help "our" kids?  Check.
Why now?  Check.

These are just a few of the questions/statements I expected to get ... and I got them.  (Strange though because I have not asked ONE person for ONE penny.)  We haven't decided IF we're going to do this yet, how much it would cost, etc. so I've asked for help - like brainstorming.  But it's too soon to start asking for monetary donations.

What I have been shocked by (so far) is how many people come up with reasons/excuses for me NOT to do this orphanage alternative.  People are being so helpful at trying to eliminate my guilt or my burden or whatever insanity I must be experiencing that makes me want to even consider this.  They're not telling me it's a bad idea.  They're not saying I couldn't do it.  They're simply saying, "Why do you feel YOU have to help?"

I understand that they might not get the whole picture.  I get that people might project their own feelings onto me.  Fine.  But what I don't get is why they think their sense of morality and obligation can be passed along to me.

What I know is this ... when I was standing in the orphanage (2 days after adopting Zoe), I was overwhelmed by all those 'left behind'.  There was one little boy especially about 15-18 months I'd say in the far corner reaching his hands out to us asking us (through the glass window) to pick him up.  His little face haunts me still.

As we left the orphanage that day, something was deposited in me.  I KNEW I had to do "something" for those left behind.  I knew that I MUST return.  And I did.  I brought shoes, socks, medicines, strollers, washing machines, dryers, refrigerators, clothes, school supplies, food, formula, diapers, wipes, etc.

And it wasn't enough.

I left from that trip knowing I would have to return and do MORE.  What that will be still remains to be seen.  I at least have to try.

Come join me on this new adventure.  What if we help just one child?  Would it be worth it?

Full circle of emotions

Metacognition.  Thinking about thinking.  It's your mind's ability to step away from your life for a second and view it as you would a movie.

There are people who have NO clue what they are thinking.  They are not aware of their internal processes.

I do not understand that.

Currently, I've been asked to take on this HUGE project.  On the one hand, it's a dream come true.  Truly, I've had this dream for most of my life.  And right in front of me is the opportunity to seize it.  I've been musing lately on how to help, truly HELP the orphans of the world.  How to make an impact.  And the answer falls in my lap.

But on the other hand, what the heck am I thinking?  I don't have any money.   I do not know where to get funding.  I am not a business person.  I don't have a clue how to get corporate sponsors.  I don't know what it takes to run an orphanage.

The responsibility is overwhelming.  And yet I know I cannot walk away.

But I also have 5 children at home who also depend on me (6 if you count Hubby).

Last night, someone said to me, "And out of the 1 billion people in China, YOU are the only one who can help these kids?"

I kept my mouth shut!  I wanted to scream.  How dare they attempt to pull down my dream!  And NO, I am NOT the only one who can help ... but why AREN'T they helping?  And the Bible says we are to help our neighbor.  Who is our neighbor?  Anyone who asks for help!

But the truth is ... Who *AM* I to think I can do it?  I could, at this very moment, rattle off 50 reasons I am NOT the person for the job.

In the story of the good samaritan, I'm mostly struck by those who can walk past, do nothing.  How can they see a travesty and turn away as if they didn't see it?  I've seen things in China.  I cannot "unsee" them.  I know of children who at this very moment are hurting!!  And I can't "unknow" it.  The question really isn't who do I think I am but rather, who else is going to come along beside me and answer the cry of these kids.  They are asking US for help.

I have no clue how to say "Yes" ... I just know I can't say "no."

So back to "metacognition" ... THESE are some of the thoughts running through my head lately.  People's first question is often, "What are you thinking?!?"  to which I can now refer them to this blog entry.

In summary, I'm thinking:  I have been asked to help.  I must find a way to do it.

Photo is Zoe soon after arriving at the Group Home (similar to what we're talking about creating).  I'm very thankful someone said "yes" to her. 

Calling all churches

I'm a firm believer that the Bible actually MEANS what it says.  We can all get caught up in the various doctrines of what makes you a better Christian than me or than your neighbor.  But when it comes down to it, there seems to be some clear mandates.

Don't know if you've been to Matthew 25:31-46 lately or not.  But it seems pretty clear to ME.  Jesus himself says the Lord will separate the sheep and the goats - some to life and some to death.  Based on our doctrines?? NOPE!  Based on some simple principles of life.

Did we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick, etc?

In 9 years as a foster parent, I couldn't take in one of those little ones and feed and clothe them without thinking, "You do this unto the least of them you've done it unto me."

Now we've been presented with the opportunity to help, REALLY help some of the special needs orphans in China.  Due to circumstances, there are some children falling through the cracks of the system and WE have been asked to help.

Many of the successful models of group homes have several churches and companies as their "base."  They support financially, with donations, volunteers, etc.

In the next week or so, I'll be putting together a proposal of what that looks like.  I'll be contacting various churches who do not currently have an orphan care program to see if they would like to help.  And corporations who might want to make contributions.

So think about it, do you know of a church?  You friends with a pastor? Know of a company who does charitable donations? Know of a person who would like to donate?  (Time, resources, money, services).

Many of you have offered to do "anything".  THIS is my first request:  Rack your brain for people you know who might be a resource.  

Be encouraged.  Many, many things are coming together behind the scenes, faster than I can keep track.

More details to come!

The shoestring ... The faith of a child

Sam has these shoes that he picked out because they were "COOL".  They have a blue string at the top and a black string at the bottom.  Problem is ... they won't stay laced and the laces are 3 miles long.  I've hinted about them being a problem.  I've made suggestions on how to keep them tied.  I've tied them for him.

And frankly, I've grown tired of reminding him to "Tie Your Shoes!!"

So I took matters into my own hands.  I took all the laces out and started fresh with only ONE lace per shoe.

Problem is ... those little "thingys" on the tips are missing.  So re-lacing was taking a very L O N G time.  In fact, so long that I began to think that I wasn't going to get it done before he had to leave for school.  (And he doesn't have a second pair.)  Serious problem.  Each hole was taking 2-3 minutes of twisting, cutting, pushing, pulling.  It came down to 1 minute before they HAD to leave and I still had 3 holes to go ... at this rate, it will be 9 minutes.

Luke came up beside me and started saying, "It's going to work now.  I prayed."

OK ... point of decision.  And some background info is necessary. As a child, I was given a gift of faith. I just KNEW I would pray about something and God would do it.  Plain and simple.  I even know God turned around a tornado  (but that's another blog entry for another day).  I wasn't all that encouraged when I would say things like Luke said to me.

So the question is:  How do I encourage this gift of faith?  How do I raise a prayer warrior?

The answer *I* came up with:  *I* must take the leap of faith.

He prays.  I pray that his prayer works (for HIS benefit).  And VOILA.  Shoe string in!  We clap, we cheer, we do High 5's.  All the hoop-la draws the attention of Sam who joins us and starts to pray too.   Shoe string in!  We clap, we cheer, we all do high 5's.  More hoop-la.  Now Kaley and Zoe join in on the act.

They're all praying for the shoestring.  I'm praying for God to build their faith.  3rd and final shoestring.  It too went in quickly and painlessly!  They're doing dancing in the kitchen and praising God.  Me too.  We get up and dance all the way to the door ... Sam wearing his nicely tied shoes.

And the rest of yesterday, I spent wondering the amazing journeys that God is going to take my family on.  I began to speculate about future things where we gather together and pray prayers of faith - me and my prayer warriors.

Yesterday it was shoestrings.

Maybe tomorrow it will be the blind to see, the deaf to hear, the lame to walk.  Maybe it will be seeing a person with no hand or foot suddenly have one appear.  Maybe we'll see someone resurrected from the dead.  Maybe mountains are going to be cast into the sea.

I don't know about you, but I'm a woman of faith.  And I'm thrilled to say I'm learning (by God's grace) how to raise children of faith.  I'm raising prayer warriors and praisers.

Anyone got any "shoestrings" that need prayer? I've got the cutest bunch of prayer warriors you've ever seen just itching to see what else God will do!

Am I the only one?

Am I the only one?  Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Each morning I rush to my computer to check on my favorite blogs.  I love getting those notices that one of my favs has written a new entry.  I eagerly click and wait for it to pop up.  I know some will be full of wit or wisdom.  I know others will come with amazing pictures.  Some tell me of experiences in far off lands.  Sometimes I get to experience the birth of a new family ...

... all while wearing my pj's from the comfort of my home while sipping hot tea.

Ahhh ... my morning somehow feels complete.  I feel whole.  I feel connected to an outside world.

This morning ... it hit me like a ton of bricks:  God has His daily blog entry He would like me to read. 

(oh)

Sure I pull out the scriptures and I pray.  And there are days where I feel I've found the best nugget in the world.  Sometimes I hear from God.  Sometimes I have the best time and feel connected, feel whole, feel complete.  Sometimes I find wit and wisdom.  Sometimes I get a great picture.

But let's go there ... sometimes I do not.  Sometimes it seems more like a chore, an obligation, a duty to check off my ever growing list.

I've begun to wonder this morning:  Maybe I don't always "hear" what He has to say because I sometimes I don't like what He has to say.  Or maybe it's back to that entry I wrote on being a spoiled brat.  (How I like only the extremes, not the daily grind.)  Or maybe I just fill my head with all these other distractions of life so I DON'T hear what He has to say.

I'm assuming I'm not the only one here.    

So this morning, (I know this stuff, but ...) I'm reminded to rush to HIS blog entries first.  To find comfort in HIM first, to feel connected to HIM first.

Go be shocked at what God has in store for YOU today!  It's a really great blog entry ... you'll be glad you read it!  Below is something God shared with me.  Maybe it's for you too.

I'd love to hear what God is saying to YOU lately!

Psalm 121                                                                I lift up my eyes to the hills—  where does my help come from?  My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip  he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel  will neither slumber nor sleep.  The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm he will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.