Sep 18, 2012

And it's enough

Reflections on getting to Boston:

I worked my butt off.  Planned for.  Hoped for.  Had expectations of.  All in Faith/hope of help.  I’d done the research to know who has the best shot at a plan for Manny. 

And yesterday we arrived.  I was completely and utterly overwhelmed.  I was on the verge of tears the whole day.  I was savoring every second of it.  Food tasted better.  Smells were amazing. Grass was greener.  I saw a tree and it was one of those trees that just bring healing by being under it.  I felt grateful and blessed and taken care of.

When the doctor walked in, I almost burst into tears.  I could have hugged him and made a scene.  But I used restraint.  But I FELT like it!  I would have hugged and groveled at the sight of him.  Why?  No one else has been able to help in over a year.  They have all given up.  This man says he will try.  So he has the hope of help. 

I was reflecting during meditation/prayer time this morning about how overwhelming the whole thing is and I came up with this metaphor. 

I know this might sound sacreligious and I hope not but it’s just a metaphor.  Got it? 

So you know how Christians say they wonder what it will be like to meet Jesus face to face? Or ask what it will be like/feel like to be in heaven.  And other such phrases?

Well, I think I got a small glimpse. 

I think what I felt was just one percent of what it will be like.  In that moment, we will know that it was all worth it.  All we planned for will be better than we planned.  All we hoped for will be reality.  All we have expected will be fulfilled. 

For those of us who have looked around at the alternatives to Christianity, I can say that I feel that Jesus has the best plan.  (Sorry to offend any one of another religious affiliation or the agnostics/athiests but I can just tell you what *I* have been shown.) 

Trust me, we WILL burst into tears.  We WILL hug and make a scene.  We will not be able to have restraint!  We will hug and grovel at the sight of Jesus. 

Why? Because he is the only one who has ever helped up.  He never gave up.  He tries (and succeeds).  He not only has the hope of help … He IS Hope. 

And as I write this … the team has done NOTHING to help yet.  Not one test.  Not one plan in place.  We are still gathering information about how to proceed.  And the rest? It’s all hope. 

At the end of the day, that’s all we have.

At the end of our lives, that’s all we have. 

And it’s enough!

1 comment:

  1. Beth,how profound and multi-meaning the word "hope" is...I know I will cry too! Love and hugs, Paula