100 years ago ...

I wake up each morning (early) and as soon as I have them all out the door, I RUSH to the computer.  I eagerly anticipate what new messages might be in the inbox.  If the "from" box looks all crazy and unreadable, I go there first. 

What? 

Daily I get messages from people in China.  Daily I am receiving questions to answer and answers to my questions.  It's a daily dialogue halfway across the world.  And if I get to the emails IMMEDIATELY, the people on the other side of the world will have a chance to read and shoot me an email back before they must head to bed.  Then I spend the day answering the questions and thinking of new things to ask them. 

I was pondering my female counterparts just 100 years ago.  Think about it.  1909.  There was no internet.  There was not a way to pick up a cordless phone and call China.  There was no way for her to jump on a plane to get there.  And yet here I am 100 years later and it's not even a big deal to me that I chat daily with people on the other side of the world.  I don't find it strange that I'm becoming very good friends with people who speak no English (and I speak no Chinese). 

In 11 days, I'll be hopping on a plane (OK 2 planes) and less than 24 hours later, I'll be sitting in a hotel in Beijing. Then I'll use Skype to call back to my kids and see them and talk to them.  Isn't that marvelous?  And I can pick up a cordless phone and speak to them too. 

And I'm doing all this ... why?? 

When you were little, did your parents ever say to you, "Eat all your vegetables.  Do you know there are children starving in China?"  Well mine did ... it was about peas.  Hated those little suckers!  I was like, "So ship them to THEM!"  And now I have the opportunity to make sure at least a few of those little ones go to bed with full tummies.

And now you know why I rush every morning to open my emails.  There are babies on the other side of the world. 

Time to reflect

Things are back to "normal" at my house.  I'm back to having 2 hours every morning where the kids are gone and the house is eeerily quiet. I can enjoy my time by myself ... and it seems quite self-indulgent having always had the kids around 24/7.

Yesterday I took a shower ... all by myself.  Now that might not seem like such an incredulous task.  But for me, it is.  Or at least it was.

Last Friday I took a shower before I headed towards Peoria.  Dan was already away attending a conference of his own.  All the kids were supposed to be sleeping.  Zoe came in and just stood there staring at me.

I'm like, "What?"

She says, "Nothin'".

Me: What are you doing?

Her: Staring at you.

Me: (realizing it was a stupid question the moment it left my mouth) WHY??

Her:  Because you're Hubba Hubba.

I make a mental note: Talk to the child when I get home!

There are really, really hard days with them.  There are days I want to crawl up in bed and hide under the covers.  There are days I'm almost dehydrated due to the tear loss.  There are days where I'm frustrated beyond belief.  Days where I feel I'm making no difference at all.

But there are mostly moments where I realize how precious these little people are.  Where I realize how fleeting this time with them is.  I know that in a moment, I'll wake up and it will have been like a dream.  I'm already forgetting what they looked like as an infant.  I'm already forgetting their sweet baby smell.  I'm already losing the memories I thought would never fade.

I wonder if I'm helping shape them into Godly people.  Am I helping or hindering God in His process with them?

So as I sit here on this quiet morning - freshly showered, I have a chance to take pause and reflect on such things.  I think about where they have been, the miracles God has already performed in their lives.  I think about where they are and I think about the roads ahead (some fun and some tough).

Hope you are taking a moment here or there to reflect on what matters most to you.

Handpicked

Do you get paid to talk about your favorite subject? Have you ever been paid to do something that you would have PAID to do?


I do. I don’t know how I got to be so blessed, but I’m on the plane on the way back from giving a talk about what it’s like to be the mother to 5 adopted children with special needs. There’s this awesome ministry in Peoria, Illinois called “Angel Arms” and they just had their first conference for the caretakers of individuals with special needs.

They found me via google! Isn’t that amazing? About 1 ½ years ago, Colleen contacted me and asked if I’d be the keynote speaker at a conference. I usually get booked via “word of mouth”. People have heard of me or have heard me speak. This was the first time I got found and hired with Google.

I did some research about them and was actually quite impressed. They have a program to help assist families with special needs children. So if you go to their church and you have a child with say autism, they will make a plan (much like an IEP) to assist you and your child. This way, the parents can actually attend worship service! Each family will have a different plan to meet the needs.

Their ministry is relatively small right now … but … I have a feeling it won’t be that way for long. I truly believe it’s going to explode in the near future! And furthermore, I believe this needs to be the model for every church! (If you know of a church or pastor … let me know and I can give them some awesome info about an amazing ministry.)

Anyway, I got to talk about my kids and share a little of our testimony of our journey. And as typical “Beth” form … I told the truth. I mean, I don’t think other necessarily “lie” when talking about special needs, but I do think they often leave a whole bunch of the picture out. And as I looked out over the audience, I saw a lot of heads nodding in agreement. I saw many tears being wiped away as I shared some of the stories. I saw people who “got it”.

It’s just such a blessing to be in a room full of people who completely understand what I am talking about. There are also BTDT. I do a lot of presentations but I rarely speak to an audience quite like this one. (I’m usually trying to get people to understand what I’m talking about … and these people are living parallel lives.)

They also asked me to sing some of my songs. It’s actually kinda cool as I don’t normally get to combine those worlds. But I have songs I’ve written on the subject and never get to sing them. One is called “Catch My Tears”. How God captures every tear we’ve ever shed (Ps. 56:8).

So as I go home to my children tonight, I’m so blessed to be their Mommy. And as I shared today, I know to the core of my being that my children were “Handpicked” for me and I was “Handpicked” for my children.

Collecting donations for Ayis

Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a foster mother or a caretaker of babies?  Have you wondered what it's like to pour your life and your love into a child only to see them leave? or worse, die? Have you ever wondered what YOU might be able to do to say "Thank you" for even just one of these wonderful nannies? 

Zoe's Foster Mother/Ayi

The countdown is on. (If I'm not delirious from the lack of sleep with all the H1N1 and pneumonia around here) I leave in 19 days for China.

Last trip, I collected donations (monetary and "stuff").  As a result, we were able to purchase hundreds of pairs of shoes and socks. We bought 2 refrigerators and 2 washing machines.  We got diapers, wipes, formula, bottles, etc etc. 

For this trip, I haven't asked for donations ... and I'm really rethinking that decision.  While this will be a "smaller" type deal this time, I would still love to be able to live donations in all the places we are going.  And since I'm going to be spending most of my time with the caretakers this time, I'm wanting to give some small gifts of appreciation to them as well.  (I did foster care for 9 years and I know how hard it is to care for a child only to see them die or leave.)

So ... with that in mind.  I know that times are tough.  Most of you are stretched to the max financially.  I understand.  But if any of you are in a position to help ... even just a bit, that would be awesome.  If that is cash, great.  If that is a few supplies and mailing it to me, wonderful.  Even one gift for a caretaker?

If you are wanting to give via paypal ... go to www.destinyshouse.com/shoes.html and click on "Make a Donation".  If you want to give a check or send donations, email me and I'll send you my address. (goredan @hotmail.com). 

If you cannot give ... NO PROBLEM and no guilt.  I still need other things so email me for that too.

Thanks for all the love and support.

I love it when a plan comes together

Little by little, bit by bit.  That's how a plan comes together.  I don't know about you, but I get *giddy* when I start to see how the pieces of the puzzle fit.

Today I got an email from the director of the Taiyu*an SWI (orphanage) and he says he is very excited to see us again ... and it was one of his greatest hopes to meet one of the children adopted from there.  He's asking what all WE need!

Truthfully, what we *Need* is the open door to help him.  We want the "all clear" that we can actually serve the children of that province.  We need his help for that.

When we were there in March, we went down to Hong T*ng and had a very interesting day.  We saw some of the children in foster homes there.  (That was a bit "strange".)  We ended up having a marvelous lunch with the director and his staff - along with all our entourage!  (We started out with 1 Chinese person helping us and by the end, there were 12 I think was the final count!)

But while there that day, I got the experience of a lifetime.  I got to meet Zoe's foster mother, in her home.  It was an hour full of tears and laughter.  There wasn't a dry eye in the place (including the Director's) as these 2 women shared stories of the little girl they both loved so dearly.  At the time, I was so engrossed with the actual experience that I was unaware of anyone else but that foster mother.  But looking at pictures (thankfully I had friends with me to snap away), I saw how intently he was watching the interaction.

Fast forward ... I want to propose to him that I open a children's home there ... to have a foster home component.  My selling feature?  That moment.

In his letter to me, he actually mentioned the Hong T*ng visit as one of the most memorable moments of his life.  (That's a good sign, don't you think?)

Meanwhile, there's yet another person who has great insight into this process (been doing it for over 10 years) who has offered to give advice.  People are bending over backwards to help us. (I hope that continues.) And she has been working with Taiyu*n as well.

More to follow!  But this is getting exciting.  I leave in 3 weeks from tomorrow.

Warning: NOT going to be a popular post

Disclaimer:  I am going to stray from the adoption topic for a day to discuss Halloween.  I feel that I need to post this ... even though I know it won't be popular.  I just feel it needs to be said and people can do whatever they choose to with the information.

OK ... here goes!

Most of my friends are Christians.  Most of these friends celebrate Halloween.  Most of them feel it is just a day for their kids to have some innocent fun, wear cute costumes and get candy.  I understand that point of view. 

Our family does NOT participate in Halloween in any way.  I do not feel it is all innocent fun. I can't get over the pagan history of the day.  It's basically just a day to celebrate witchcraft and evil in general.  There are MANY sites on this if you're interested (Just google "Halloween Origins" and you'll find plenty ... here is just one  http://www.jeremiahproject.com/culture/halloween.html).  I'm not sure why Christians feel this is OK to participate.

Daily, people ask if the kids are ready for Halloween.  To which they proudly state, "We don't celebrate Halloween."  Then people (including Christians) stare at me like I'm the worst parent on the planet!  How does this make me a bad parent that I won't let my kids dress up like Witches? 

And in case you feel my kids are all deprived, here's what we do.  After Halloween, you can get the greatest deals on costumes.  We buy princess outfits, spiderman, superman, etc.  And you wouldn't believe the deal you get on candy.  We let them wear these costumes any other day of the year besides Halloween.  And they get their fill of candy. 

OK ... I said it.  Like I said, I know this won't be popular.  And if you do Halloween, I'm not judging you and I don't expect you to defend your position.  I'm just saying ... I don't think I should be considered weird just because I don't let my kids celebrate witchcraft. 

Know where I'll be on November 1?  Picking out new play outfits for the kids and stocking up on candy. 

Tickets are bought

I bought tickets today for China.  I did it with trembling hands and a mind full of questions.  Am I doing the right thing?  Am I crazy?  Who the heck do I think *I* am to try this?  What if it fails? What if it doesn't work?  What if I can't find funding?  How do we pick which children come to the home and which don't? 

But I hit "send" and bought the tickets anyway.  Why? 

Because for a lifetime, I've had the dream to run an orphange.  Because I see the need.  Because it was asked of me and to ignore the request is to ignore the proverbial beggar on the side of the road.  (You know that story?  Everyone saw the guy but they all passed by.)   

But the biggest reason is because I keep telling God, "I will walk through each door until you say no".  And He keeps saying "Yes".  Every time I put a problem before Him, a reason for NOT doing this ... He finds the solution to it. 

I am putting one foot in front of the other.  I'm scared out of my mind.  I'm way in over my head.  But I also know who is in charge.  And there's something completely humbling about being His instrument.