Oct 29, 2009

Time to reflect

Things are back to "normal" at my house.  I'm back to having 2 hours every morning where the kids are gone and the house is eeerily quiet. I can enjoy my time by myself ... and it seems quite self-indulgent having always had the kids around 24/7.

Yesterday I took a shower ... all by myself.  Now that might not seem like such an incredulous task.  But for me, it is.  Or at least it was.

Last Friday I took a shower before I headed towards Peoria.  Dan was already away attending a conference of his own.  All the kids were supposed to be sleeping.  Zoe came in and just stood there staring at me.

I'm like, "What?"
She says, "Nothin'".
Me: What are you doing?
Her: Staring at you.
Me: (realizing it was a stupid question the moment it left my mouth) WHY??
Her:  Because you're Hubba Hubba.
I make a mental note: Talk to the child when I get home!

There are really, really hard days with them.  There are days I want to crawl up in bed and hide under the covers.  There are days I'm almost dehydrated due to the tear loss.  There are days where I'm frustrated beyond belief.  Days where I feel I'm making no difference at all.

But there are mostly moments where I realize how precious these little people are.  Where I realize how fleeting this time with them is.  I know that in a moment, I'll wake up and it will have been like a dream.  I'm already forgetting what they looked like as an infant.  I'm already forgetting their sweet baby smell.  I'm already losing the memories I thought would never fade.

I wonder if I'm helping shape them into Godly people.  Am I helping or hindering God in His process with them?

So as I sit here on this quiet morning - freshly showered, I have a chance to take pause and reflect on such things.  I think about where they have been, the miracles God has already performed in their lives.  I think about where they are and I think about the roads ahead (some fun and some tough).

Hope you are taking a moment here or there to reflect on what matters most to you.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, I can definitely relate to this post. There is such a range of emotion that comes with parenting. And I also relate the that 2.5 window of time when we are alone and get to choose what to do. It flies by, doesn't it?