Full circle of emotions

Metacognition.  Thinking about thinking.  It's your mind's ability to step away from your life for a second and view it as you would a movie.

There are people who have NO clue what they are thinking.  They are not aware of their internal processes.

I do not understand that.

Currently, I've been asked to take on this HUGE project.  On the one hand, it's a dream come true.  Truly, I've had this dream for most of my life.  And right in front of me is the opportunity to seize it.  I've been musing lately on how to help, truly HELP the orphans of the world.  How to make an impact.  And the answer falls in my lap.

But on the other hand, what the heck am I thinking?  I don't have any money.   I do not know where to get funding.  I am not a business person.  I don't have a clue how to get corporate sponsors.  I don't know what it takes to run an orphanage.

The responsibility is overwhelming.  And yet I know I cannot walk away.

But I also have 5 children at home who also depend on me (6 if you count Hubby).

Last night, someone said to me, "And out of the 1 billion people in China, YOU are the only one who can help these kids?"

I kept my mouth shut!  I wanted to scream.  How dare they attempt to pull down my dream!  And NO, I am NOT the only one who can help ... but why AREN'T they helping?  And the Bible says we are to help our neighbor.  Who is our neighbor?  Anyone who asks for help!

But the truth is ... Who *AM* I to think I can do it?  I could, at this very moment, rattle off 50 reasons I am NOT the person for the job.

In the story of the good samaritan, I'm mostly struck by those who can walk past, do nothing.  How can they see a travesty and turn away as if they didn't see it?  I've seen things in China.  I cannot "unsee" them.  I know of children who at this very moment are hurting!!  And I can't "unknow" it.  The question really isn't who do I think I am but rather, who else is going to come along beside me and answer the cry of these kids.  They are asking US for help.

I have no clue how to say "Yes" ... I just know I can't say "no."

So back to "metacognition" ... THESE are some of the thoughts running through my head lately.  People's first question is often, "What are you thinking?!?"  to which I can now refer them to this blog entry.

In summary, I'm thinking:  I have been asked to help.  I must find a way to do it.

Photo is Zoe soon after arriving at the Group Home (similar to what we're talking about creating).  I'm very thankful someone said "yes" to her.