Tough economic times. Check.
Already contributing somewhere else. Check.
We're financially strapped right now. Check.
We're in the middle of an adoption. Check
Where you going to get the money from? Check.
Why you? Check.
Why China? Check.
Why not help "our" kids? Check.
Why now? Check.
These are just a few of the questions/statements I expected to get ... and I got them. (Strange though because I have not asked ONE person for ONE penny.) We haven't decided IF we're going to do this yet, how much it would cost, etc. so I've asked for help - like brainstorming. But it's too soon to start asking for monetary donations.
What I have been shocked by (so far) is how many people come up with reasons/excuses for me NOT to do this orphanage alternative. People are being so helpful at trying to eliminate my guilt or my burden or whatever insanity I must be experiencing that makes me want to even consider this. They're not telling me it's a bad idea. They're not saying I couldn't do it. They're simply saying, "Why do you feel YOU have to help?"
I understand that they might not get the whole picture. I get that people might project their own feelings onto me. Fine. But what I don't get is why they think their sense of morality and obligation can be passed along to me.
What I know is this ... when I was standing in the orphanage (2 days after adopting Zoe), I was overwhelmed by all those 'left behind'. There was one little boy especially about 15-18 months I'd say in the far corner reaching his hands out to us asking us (through the glass window) to pick him up. His little face haunts me still.
As we left the orphanage that day, something was deposited in me. I KNEW I had to do "something" for those left behind. I knew that I MUST return. And I did. I brought shoes, socks, medicines, strollers, washing machines, dryers, refrigerators, clothes, school supplies, food, formula, diapers, wipes, etc.
And it wasn't enough.
I left from that trip knowing I would have to return and do MORE. What that will be still remains to be seen. I at least have to try.