May 19, 2011

"Real Housewife" of Tampa

I have never watched any of the episodes of any of the "Real Housewives" series ... but here is my audition/application to be on a new series I'm proposing ... "The Real Mommies". 

To Whom it May Concern,

I would love to be on the new show.  I am a mother of 6 kids.  That right there should qualify me but if it's not enough let me describe just part of my day. 

After very few hours of sleep last night (and that included a child in my bed who has casts on that scratch a lot), I finally dragged myself out of bed.  The poopie diaper couldn't be ignored any longer.  The youngest daughter, home from school with Pneumonia, wanted salad for breakfast.  Why not. 

The oldest son had let his room get so bad there were varmin running FROM his room.  So today was the day we were to tackle it.  I wore my best "can get dirty in these" clothes.  Thankfully I have a forklift license for all the loads of cr*p that were in there. 

Before I knew it, it was time for lunch ... uhhhh ... hot dogs.  (Cringe) It was the only thing I could do in about 10 seconds and get right back in the room to fend off the varmin and piles of looming trash. 

The 5 year old wanted to get in on the action of cleaning so I started her on the "arts and crafts" closet.  Just the two bottom shelves (where she could reach). 

While back in the son's room, I was sitting on the closet floor sorting throuh clothes he wears and doesn't wear.  It was an interesting conversation with him about why he would/not wear certain clothes.  Some was about fit, some about holes, but most was about the way it felt ... texture.  He refused to wear certain clothes because they "felt weird" (t-shirts, polo shirts, you name it.) 

While sitting there, I found some dirty (and I'll leave it at that) clothes and as I picked it up, roaches ran ALL OVER ME.  (I shudder just to re-live this moment.) 

Eventually I picked up the kids from school, did homework, made lunches, got clothes out for tomorrow, made dinner, reassembled the closet the 5 year old was working on.  Unfortunately, I went into the girl's room and decided that we should empty at least 2 shelves in there too.  (I was already in a bad enough mood, what's a little more.) 

Time for bed.  Dispense evening meds.  Dig out the obligatory buggers from daughter with cleft's nose.  A few rounds of "get back in bed".  And then put the baby to bed.  (All through the day, I have to deal with his tube that keeps giving an error message.) 

And now that it's quiet, time to clean the kitchen from dinner and take the long deserved bath.  I think 2 baths might be in order in fact. 

So that's how a Real Mommy lives her life.  Then again, if this isn't enough, try me again tomorrow ... afterall, today was a slow day!

Thanks for considering me.

1 comment:

  1. HANDS DOWN the WORST part of that post was the ROACHES. *I* may not sleep tonight, just re-living the THOUGHT of that. ::shudders::gags::vomits a bit in own mouth::