May 18, 2011

What a difference a year makes

One year ago today, at 7:45am, my world changed.  HERE is the link to the blog post.

If you were following along back then, you know.  We got a baby in March.  6 weeks later he ended up in the hospital with pneumonia.  And then one year ago today, we got the devastating news that he had maybe a month to live.  I captured it all on blog if anyone wants to go re-live that.  But suffice to say, we were devastated.  CHEATED is the word I used often.

As I type this today, I can't believe the difference a year makes.

He no longer has this horrible diagnosis.
He is stronger.
He is bigger.
He is doing many, many more things.
He can move body parts that were previously "stuck".
He is astonishing the doctors and therapists.

We are planning his 2nd birthday party!  That's not something I'd dared to hope for a year ago today.

In fact, last year at this time, I had friends who had given me a cyber baby shower for Manny.  Mostly clothes, most that fit right then.  But there were a few things that were size 2T.  When we got the news that he wouldn't likely live for another month, my first thought was those clothes.  (Silly how our mind works ... when it can't handle one thing, it turns attention to something else.)  I began to wonder if I should return them for something closer to his current size.  And someone told me to keep them out of hope.

He's just about to grow into them!  He WILL get to wear them.

So I just want to say on this anniversary of a horrible day ... I am truly blessed.  Life over the past 365 days has been some of my most challenging days.  I've mustered up courage, faith, hope and energy that I didn't know I had.  I've been granted more mercy than one person deserves.  I've been blessed with friends and support from unlikely places.  I've seen miracle after miracle.

I've watched a baby learn how to use his hands, arms, feet, neck, back.  I've seen him discover a wonderfully fun world.  I've heard laughter from the depths of a child's soul.  I've seen delight in making new sounds and playing with toys.  I've noticed a sense of humor and a playful spirit.  I've watched a child learn about cars and trains and airplanes and all things "boy".  I've spent many times just watching him sleep ... in complete silence ... and in awe of the miracle of life.

I've also watched a baby struggle for breath.  I've watched him suffer.  I've watched as doctors and nurses did horrible, unspeakable things to him as I just stood by helpless.  I've spent so many hours begging God to give him life, heal him, save him, give him breath.  I've spent many hours thanking Him for doing just that.

And through it all, we have both become stronger.  We both appreciate life in a way that we couldn't have had we not gone through this.

One year later... He is ALIVE.  And that right there, defies all logic, all conventional medical thought. THAT is a miracle.

One year ago, I was asking God to let him live.  At the time, I had no clue if He would say Yes or No.

God said YES.
What else is there to say.


  1. Definitely only God!! A mircale in the making. It's been beautiful to watch. Hugs