May 23, 2010

Let Life Resume

When we were in the hospital ... life came to a complete halt.  For a week, I was indoctrinated with death, dying, demise and disease.  I was told how the illness takes it's normal course, what kids with Leukodystrophy die of and what the warning signs are.  We discussed end of life matters, hospice and home health nurses.  We devised a plan of how to proceed. 

During this whole thing, I was wresting with how to incorporate faith in all this. Afterall, I have a BIG God.  A God who is a God of life, not death.  He wants people healed.  He loves Manny more than I do.  He doesn't want him to suffer.  And I was wondering how to do the balancing act.  I felt I was on a tightrope. 

During one of my times of praying about this, God sent Dianne into my room.  I told her this very struggle and she offered some advice.  She said to make the plans.  Have them all ready.  And then get on with life.  I felt  peace come over me.  I said, "I can do that!" 

So like I said before, when I drove away from the hospital, I had the plan in place.  And I drove towards life. 

Life had been on pause. 

Now I find myself hoping again.  I feel myself talking about "When he grows up" and "After he can walk" and "When he can eat".  We're making plans of life.  We're making plans of the future. 

I know that the friends in my life might be wondering what to say to us or how to talk or topics to avoid.  But for now, we're good.  We've got our lives back and we're celebrating each and every day.  We were on pause for a while but now we're back to fast forward ahead. 

If you find YOUR life is on pause, I suggest to you ... live life to the fullest.  Make each and every day count.  Celebrate every day.   Love much and laugh often. 


1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful and faith-filled reflection Beth! I believe we need to celebrate every day Manny has with us. If I could hold Manny I would tell him to be blessed little man of God. The Father's arms are tightly around you. Your time on earth is touching people deeper than some who live a lifetime. God's plan is perfect and beautiful.
    Our prayers continue for full healing.
    Love all of you.