May 19, 2010

You haven't left his room ...

I got the statement from a nurse,"You haven't left his room."  And you might be wondering why so here's a little background of how Manny's life was prior to us. 

(I'm inserting pictures of him prior to the hospital stay so you can all see his personality and cuteness!)

He had a very young mom.  She loved him.  It was clear.  He was well cared for.  Clearly loved.  He was well attached. 

But one day, she decided she couldn't do it any more with his symptoms progressing.  She said she doesn't want him to suffer. So she tried to take him to the Firestation to do the "Safe Haven" program.  She didn't realize it was only for up to 3 days old.  Since he was sick, they transported him to the hospital.  She signed surrenders and was gone. 

For the next approximately month, they did probes and testing.  He failed a swallow study (he was aspirating) so they did some surgery on him (gtube and fundoplication).  All with no mama there.  The nurses are great, but they're nurses and they have a lot of patients.

On March 26, he was discharged from the hospital with me. 

Then we came to the hospital last week.  And I can only imagine the thoughts going on in his little mind.  His world has taught him that Mamas take you to the hospital and LEAVE YOU THERE, then they torture you. 

I was not about to let this happen to him.  So for the first 2 days, I wouldn't even go to the potty with the door closed.  He watched me like a hawk making sure I wasn't leaving him!  If he couldn't see me, he would scream. 

So every waking moment, I had to be here lest he freak out.  But when he would fall asleep, his oxygen levels would go so low I had to carefully monitor them and make sure he was still breathing!  So I couldn't leave when he was asleep. 

I never left him.  Period.  THIS Mama ain't leaving!


Now an update:  Last night was the first time he was on oxygen the whole night.  No arguing.  No begging for oxygen.  And we noticed something amazing.  Up until last night his day heart rate is about 150 but his night heart rate is too.  It should decrease.  Even when his oxygen levels are high, his heart rate was way high and I knew this meant he was strained. 

Sure enough, his heart rate sleeping last night was 90!  Praise God.  And now today, even when awake, his heart rate is around 120.  So he was in distress.  I knew this.  I just couldn't get my message across.  But it's been heard loud and clear based on how quickly his vitals improved! 

This morning he got an EEG.  My friend Tara came by to bring goodies and took some pictures so later I'll post about that visit, our new "loot" and hopefully the pictures from Tara.  I must say, he was quite dapper with his turbin! :)


  1. After your post yesterday I thought there was no hope left! Praise God! Still praying!

  2. Bittersweet information about Manny's birth mom. Thanks for sharing that.