Our last few hours

By now, most of you have probably heard about our scary episode tonight.  Manny was a little "off" today but not horrible.  About 6:00, he started doing this retching thing.  In the past, it's a few rounds of it and it's over.  During it, it's a bit scary.  And it's hard to describe so I even took a short video of it so I could just show the doctors what I'm talking about.  He sweats profusely.  He falls over exhausted.  Then, usually in about 5-10 minutes, it's all over. 

He did this for about 20 minutes and was having a hard time staying awake - even though it wasn't time for him to sleep.  It was only 6:30 and he had a good nap.  So I went through his bedtime routine to get his meds and treatments done, just in case he went to sleep for the night.

While I was doing that, Dan came home.  That's a pleasant surprise.  He's never home at this time of night.  He got off early to come home to go jogging with the kids. (He runs while the older 4 ride their scooters.)  But JUST as he was walking in, there was a lot of lighting.  So he stayed home.  Then he realized it was his night at the Church prayer center.  He was going to grab a bite and head out. 

But during all this, Manny kept retching.  It was getting worse.  So I got out his pulse ox machine to see how low his oxygen saturation was.  Sure enough, it was low and his heart rate skyrocketing.  So we put him on oxygen.  

He couldn't stop the retching.  He couldn't catch his breath.  Even with Oxygen on, his saturation level was only 87 for a loooong period of time.  And dipping from there. 

There's this moment in the middle where we discussed whether to call 911 and what they could do.  But eventually decided to just skip it.  Why?  Because he's DNR anyway.  Even if he coded, they would do nothing.  Nothing they could do.  So why call?  For 2 hours this lasted.

So we sat there.  Praying. 

I cried. 

Then I realized I didn't want to do this alone so I posted a quick status update on FB via my phone. 

I went and got each child, one at a time, to come pray for Manny.  Then I put them all to bed.  Meanwhile, Dan was holding him and praying for him.  (God soooo orchestrated that he was home tonight and not anywhere else!  I needed him here for sure and God knew that.) 

Nothing changed in the natural, but all of a sudden, he stopped retching/gagging.  His oxygen levels went to 97-98 and stayed put.  (sigh)

That was an hour ago as of the writing of this and he hasn't dipped below 96 since then.  PRAISE GOD! 

Terror.  It's the only word to describe how I was feeling. 

Now as I watch him sleep right beside me ... he looks so peaceful, so perfect. 

And I just want these moments to last forever.